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Wanderlust Muslim

My Journey To Discovering The World

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Getting out of Ihram

The area around the Haram has changed so much since I had last been 10 years ago. The clock tower is pretty much hard to miss towering all the other many buildings close by. One of the signs of the last hour is tall buildings and it happening right in front the house of Allah. It reminded me of the Lord of the Rings tower!!! Brother M had done Umrah very recently and was very familiar with the area. He took us straight to the safwah towers where the men cut their hair and exchanged money. The rate is better in Mecca then Aziziyah, which is why we held off exchanging large amounts of cash. The Safwah towers is a large shopping centre with various hotels inside, like the clock tower, which is where we ended up eating.

We grabbed a taxi back to our hotel, getting back about 11pm and found our hotel was pretty much empty. Everyone had left a little while ago to do their Umrah. We cut our hair and jumped straight into the shower (it felt good washing my hair) and went straight to bed. We heard the other ladies in our room come in about 3-4 in the morning. I was so glad we left early to do our Umrah.

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Umrah

We were ready to begin our Tawaf for our Umrah, the ground floor was packed. I have seen tawaf during Hajj on T.V before but being there was something else, it was like there was more people then I see on T.V. We arranged with our Hajj buddies that we will meet them at our meeting point after we finished our Tawaf. With the amount of people doing Tawaf at the same time its hard staying in a group, it was even hard staying with Hubby. The easiest way we could do it was if I walked in front and Hubby held his arms out around me, sort of creating a barrier for me on both sides. I was scared to try and get close to the Ka’ba, seeing the people and the pushing and shoving. Plus my experience getting into the Mataf area kept playing in my head. We were half way through our first round when it started to get more congested. The crowd seemed to move slower meaning more pushing and shoving, we slowly realised what was going on. It was nearly time for Isha and people had just decided to stop where they were so they can pray in front of the Ka’ba. We were close to finishing our first round, I could see the green light, only a few more steps and we would have completed one round, and then the Adhaan goes. That’s when I felt it, I felt suffocated, squashed, scared. I kept thinking how are we going to get out, people were pushing to try and complete their Tawaf, people were not letting others get out. At one point I thought I was going to get pushed down, it truly left me shaken.

Of course once we got out of the Tawaf area people had sat down for Isha, trying to find a space was another mission. Men tend to pray right near the Ka’ba so the womens pray area is a little walk away. We managed to make our way through the little space we had, weaving through people, some just sat down others praying their Sunnah, I felt so bad we had no choice but to go in front of them. Once we found the ladies section, me and hubby went in different directions. I got a space next to a very kind lady who shared her musalla (prayer mat) with me then suddenly it hit me, where am I going to meet Hubby? Our group had provided us with sim cards but we hadn’t topped them up yet.

After I finished praying I made a quick dash to where me and Hubby has gone in different directions. To my relief he wasn’t too far away. So many people in ihram and with beards it would have been hard to find him in the crowd.

My heart sank a little when I realised it was time to go back to finish our Tawaf. The first round had scared me, I don’t deal well with small tight spaces. We slowly made our way and back and made sure we continued where we left off. The crowd seemed a little bit lighter, but I kept think it was only going to get busier, people were probably finishing off their prayers. I dared not get too close to the Ka’ba, I know it gets more congested the closer you get. My heart was racing, my eye were carefully watching making sure we would not get into any trouble like before and my mind was in constant dua. Before I knew it we had completed our 7 rounds (phew) it was only then I looked around and realised it was not that bad, the crowd didn’t seem that large. In my state of worry, I missed out enjoying my Umrah Tawaf, my first Tawaf.

We headed to pray our 2 rakahts of nafl prayer and then got ourselves some Zamzam whilst we waited on the steps for our Hajj buddies. Sitting from a far, I got to get a really good look at all the extension work. A lot had changed in the last 10 years, I could mentally picture what they were doing, and how it was all going to work.

Sai was a lot calmer and free flowing then Tawaf. We managed to make our dua on Mount Safa with a view of the Ka’ba, unfortunately there is no view from Mount Marwa. There is a small part which is lit in green lights. This is to indicate the section men are required to run, women are to continue walking at their normal pace.

As we walked from one mount to the other I couldn’t help but recall the purpose of Sai, the story of how it became. Hajar (R.A.) ran from one mount to the other 7 times in search for help in the blazing heat, no air-condition or tiled flooring. How easy it has become for us.

We managed to complete everything pretty early, the men were very eager to get out of their ihrams asap, I’m glad we didn’t plan on doing Hajj Al-Qiran!!!!

“Paris holds the key to your heart…

…yes, Princess, I found you at last”

Paris was our first short break after our honeymoon. We decided to utilise the August Bank Holiday and book flights leaving Friday afternoon and arriving back late Sunday night, that meant we had a day’s rest before we went back to work. Tickets were more expensive than going during a normal non holiday weekend. It cost us £160.80 to fly with EasyJet and £208.00 to stay at Tim Hotel.

Tim Hotel was one of the cheaper hotels I found on tripomatic, which was close to the Louvre. We decided to book this instead of a fancy hotel, we only needed the room to sleep and keep our stuff in. The hotel wasn’t what I had expected but not in a bad way. The room was small and dated but clean, the only thing we noticed was instead of a double bed we got two single beds pushed together. This wasn’t a problem for us but please check before booking.

Getting from the airport to our hotel was not too bad. We landed at Paris Charles de Gaulle and opted for public transport to get us to the hotel. Hubby had researched how we can do this and I left it all to him. There are trains that can take you to central Paris, it’s a bit like London’s Kings Cross St Pancras and from there you can take the Metro to your hotel. We decided not to take the metro on our arrival as we weren’t too sure how to use it, our hotel wasn’t too far from the central station so we walked it. But this guide will tell you all (Guide)

We’ve had bad luck with flights, something always happens and we never seem to leave on time. We were a few hours behind schedule so we decided to check into the hotel and catch up on our prayers. We had a little wonder to the Louvre as it was so close to our hotel we just knew we had to see it at night. It was BEAU!

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The Louvre at night

We then decided to head out to Trocadéro and grab a bit to eat. Trocadéro is right in front of the Eiffel tower giving you the best night view. A friend of mine told me that the Eiffel tower sparkles on the hour every hour at night, a must see when in Paris!

Unfortunately we missed the sparkles by a few minutes and decided to eat and head back for the next hour. All the food places around were far too expensive and we found ourselves walking for ages before we found a decent halal place to eat. The guy was getting ready to close but kindly allowed us to eat before shutting up shop. It wasn’t the best food I have had, but was enough to keep us going that night. We made our way back to see the Eiffel tower and caught the final sparkle, we even managed to find a crepe bar close by and indulged in their famous banana and Nutella crepes MAGNIFIQUE! (sorry, the poor attempt at speaking French stops here)

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Eiffel Tower at night before the sparkle
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Authentic French crepe. The picture doesn’t do it justice!
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Sparkle Sparkle!

The next morning we woke up early for Fajr prayed and headed straight out to the Louvre we had heard the queues for the Louvre gets very busy and its best to get there early. We managed to find an entrance to Carrousel du Louvre which let us straight into the food court.

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The famous Louvre pyramids

Carrousel du Louvre is a high end underground shopping mall, which is home to the La Pyramide Inversée (The Inverted Pyramid), made more famous by Dan Browns film adaptation “The Da Vinci Code” There is an entrance to the museum through the shopping center and you can also purchase tickets from one of the shops there. As we had seen the famous outside pyramids we decided to go through the shopping centers entrance. The queue was long but moving, the only hold up was the security checks. They require all bags to be put through their scanner, which slows down the moving crowd a bit. Going in we were taken back by how big the museum really is and we were just in the lobby area directly underneath the large glass pyramid.

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La Pyramide Inversée

The museum has paper floor plans in many different languages. There is even headsets you can hire that talk you through the art work. We only planned to be in the museum for 2 hours but we could have spent the whole day there. The guide highlights the most famous art work in each section, making it easier for those of us that don’t really know art but like to appreciate it every now and then. We went straight towards The Mona Lisa, their most famous and most visited painting. She was being treated like royal compared to the others, the painting is behind a glassed wall with a thick  “Do Not Come Any Closer” barrier. Along with that she had 2 security guards on both sides. We managed to get a few snaps and head on elsewhere.

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Royal treatment for Mona Lisa
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Mona Lisa

Some of the paintings really take your breath away, they are so huge and old, I kept visioning how they managed to create these back in olden times. We managed to see the Venus De Milo  which was a tad bit awkward as almost all the statues were half naked.

I absolutely loved Napoleon III Apartments, they pretty much had all his furniture to even some of his walls! I loved how the curtains were in the same fabric print as the chairs and couch, something you would defiantly not see today. History always makes me gasp, I love seeing how they lived in the olden days, the rich and the poor

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Napoleon III Apartments
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Napoleons big ass dinning table!

We made our way to the Notre Dame after we finished, stopping for a quick cold drink on the way. The walk there was beautiful, we even managed to add our own lock to the Love Lock Bridge.

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Love Lock Bridge

Being a Disney fan I knew I would want to climb up to the top of the Notre Dame, but unfortunately we did not do our research properly. We saw the long queues going, which made us re-think our whole plan. If we were going to queue to get in that would mean other plans for the day would have to change. The queues were very long, but it was moving. There are no tickets needed to get in, I think they just slowly filter in the people so it doesn’t get too over crowded inside. Once we go inside, we were taken back by the beauty, it defiantly had an eerie feeling to it, it was big, dark and very quiet. We managed to find someone who worked there and asked where the entrance to climb to the top was, we were told it was outside! Once we managed to get out through the crowd we realised the queue for the climb was to the side, we didn’t even need to go in. But we didn’t have time, oh well there’s always next time

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Notre Dame Cathedral
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One of the finest examples of French Gothic architecture
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Couldn’t help but picture Quasimodo & Esmeralda dancing around 

Next on the list was the Museum Of The Arab World  we came across this on TripAdvisor and thought it was a must see. We were hoping to find a prayer space here but they do not have anything of the sort. The museum has some breath taking pieces. The Holy Quran section was my favourite, I loved the small scroll that had the entire Quran written. After snapping away the guard told us we were not allowed to take any pictures!

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Scroll that the Quran written on it
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Traditional veil for men and women

There is a balcony on the top floor which overlooks Paris, it is simply beautiful. There is a restaurant on the top and bottom floor, we found the top floor was pricier and more exquisite.

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View from the balcony at the Museum Of The Arab World

As there was no place to pray at the museum, we had to make a quick dash to Paris’s Grand Mosque the mosque is a short walk away from the museum and has a metro station not too far from it. We managed to make it for Zhur and even had time to take a few snaps before it was time to pray Asr. It was a nice break, to be able to sit down and relax for a little while

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Paris’s Grand Mosque
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Entrance to the mosque

 

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Inside the mosque

We found that we were a little ahead of schedule, the original plan was to head back to the hotel to pray Asr, but as we has already prayed there was no need to go back. We had a few hours before our next prayer so we decided to go straight to our next destination, the Champs-Élysées.

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Avenue Des Champs Élysées

Champs-Élysées is like a very high end version of our Oxford Street. The street runs from the Arc de Triomphe all the way until the Louvre and takes about half an hour to walk from one end to the other, but the walk is beautiful. We got off at the Franklin D. Roosevelt Station and walked all the way up. I had no intention of shopping but I had to pop into Tiffany & Co not to buy anything but to hint to Hubby for future reference 😉

We did however queue for Ladurée, how could you not, they are the most famous French bakery. I have never had macarons before so what better place to try them, then the birth place of them. There was 2 queues that were spiralling out the door and on to the streets. The longest being the queue to eat in, lucky we opted to take away, we probably would have been there all night! Once we got to the front we explained how we could not have anything that has any animal product or alcohol in it. The team there are so lovely and helped point out which ones we couldn’t have. They have so many other dessert items other than macarons, but we decided to play it safe. I can’t remember exactly how much it cost us, but it was defiantly the most expensive bakery item I have purchased in my life

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Ladurée Paris
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Macaron galore

We continued to walk all the way to the Arc de Triomphe. As it is situated on a massive round about, you have to walk underneath the road, which then leads you right to it. Unfortunately that day there was some sort of ceremony happening there. They had blocked the middle off, so we had to peak through from the side

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Arc de Triomphe

That was everything ticked off the itinerary for the day and we were ahead of schedule! Once we got back to the hotel to pray magrib, I was absolutely shattered. I could have easily crawled into bed and gone to sleep. But we needed something to eat.

We decided to stay close to home and find something local to eat. We managed to come across a small fish restaurant, which Hubby had found online. I can’t remember the name, and to be honest we were too tired to look for anything else. But I don’t think I will go back if I am ever in Paris again. The workers were bengali, and after being seated our waiter started a conversation with Hubby that was never ending, even after our food had come he was yapping away. I felt like a third wheel! They offered us complementary macarons at the end of our meal, which were very chewy and nothing like the original ones we had bought earlier that day.

The next morning we were up early again ready to head out after Fajr prayers. As we were leaving that night we had to check out of the hotel. I had contacted Tim Hotel before our trip and had asked if they would keep our luggage for a few hours. It seems this was a service they did provide to all guests. We didn’t want to be luging our heavy baggage through Paris so we left it at reception and picked it up later. They keep your items at the front and they are not held responsible for any missing items. They put a tag on the luggage and give you the receipt, which is needed when picking it up.

We had planned to visit the Eiffel Tower that morning, as this was one of the sights further away from all the other attractions. We didn’t have any plans for breakfast, we were just going to wing it, I’m glad we did. We ended up wandering around for a while before we can across a small authentic French café, Café Roussillon.

The café is big and seats a lot of people, it seemed there was only a handful of people eating breakfast at the time. Most seemed to be local, which is always a good sign. We were seated by the windows and ordered ourselves the Parisian Breakfast. The service was really good and we got our food so quickly. The Parisian breakfast comes with orange juice, tea or coffee, a croissant, bread and fruit salad and a little souvenir, an Eiffel tower keyring. We managed to finish everything apart from the fruit salad, it’s a shame its tinned fruit salad, if it was fresh I would of gulped it down! The little gift of the keyrings really made an impression with me, I would defiantly go back!

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Café Roussillon

 

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Our Parisian Breakfast!!! Yum!!!

Before leaving home, we managed to book tickets for the Eiffel tower through Viator. All the tickets through the official website had been sold out already. We managed to skip part of the queues and were taken close to the first elevators. Watching from down below it was really something. The elevators go up the legs of the Eiffel town at an angle, it’s amazing to think how they came up with the idea to build this so many years ago. There is no time limit once you get up, they scan your card and you’re free to go. The Eiffel tower has 3 levels, the summit being the 3rd and highest level, ticket for this are an additional fee, which you will have to pay when booking your entrance tickets. Our guide told us to go straight to the summit as sometime they do not let you in 2 hours after your admission time, so we went straight to the top and worked our way down. The view is something else, you can pretty much see all the iconic landmarks of Paris from the top. Hubby was well in his element, pointing out the places we had been the day before. Tip for future visitors, take a jacket or a cardi with you. Being so high up it’s very windy and can get a little cold, even on hot days! Once hubby had enough of the top floor we made our way down to the 2nd and did the same all over again! I think we spent about 3 hours there in total and could have easily spent a lot more. We decided to eat at 58 Tour Eiffel, something magical eating so high up with a view of all of Paris.

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Eiffel Tower
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View from the Eiffel Tower
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View of the Louvre from the Eiffel Tower

By the time we had come down the sun was blazing and we couldn’t resist heading towards Champ de Mars. We lay on the grass with the sun in our face and a beautiful view of the enormous tower we were on a few moments ago. It was nice to see so many people enjoying the day. Lots of people had come for a picnic, others where there spending time with their children. We even came across what seemed like drama group acting out a play in full costume. What I clearly remember about Champ de Mars, was how clean it was. If this was in Britain, how quickly do you think it would have gotten littered

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Enjoying the sunshine and view on Champ de Mars

From there we walked to the Pont Alexandre III bridge and made our way back towards the Louvre, a must when in Paris. As we got to the Place de la Concorde, we looked behind to see a very small Arc de Triomphe. Seeing it from this point was really something else, it made me realise just how long the Champs-Élysées really is!

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Champs-Élysées and Arc de Triomphe

The walk from Place de la Concorde, through Tuileries Garden towards the Lourve is a really scenic route, perfect for a hot summer’s day and an even better way to end out trip. We slowly strolled through the crowd, taking in all of the beauty whilst munching on ice cream.

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Place de la Concorde
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Tuileries Garden

As we had checked out of our hotel earlier that morning, we had to go back to Paris’s Grand Mosque to pray, walking along the river seine and even stopping for another crepe. Once we were done we headed back to the hotel to pick up our bags and sadly finish our wonderful trip

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Strolling along River Seine
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Banana and Nutella crepe, not as good as the night before, but it hit the spot

 

 

 

Ka’ba

My sister in-law told me how her father had felt when he was going for Hajj. He was so scared and nervous he apparently nearly had a heart attack. Of course Bengalis can over-exaggerate but I didn’t understand why he felt that way. My sister inlaw told me he was like that because he was going to be standing in front of Allah’s house a big achievement he was scared, all his lifes sins etc were playing on his mind. I know everyone reacts differently but I was eager to be there, my belief is that my Lord is Ar-Rahmaan and Ar Raheem (The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful)

With all the works happening at the mosque we found ourselves wondering around trying to get to the ground floor. As it was Hubbys first time seeing the Ka’ba he didn’t want to get glimpses of it whilst walking towards it, so he kept his head down whilst we tried to figure out how to get to the ground floor. Once we managed to get into a spot with a full view of the Ka’ba we stood and made dua.

I had done Umrah about 10 years ago, and even though this was my second time seeing the Ka’ba, the emotions I felt seeing it I cannot describe. It was like I was seeing it for the first time, it took my breath away. We all see pictures of the Ka’ba on T.V, facebook, Instagram etc. But seeing it with your own eyes, there is nothing as beautiful as the Ka’ba. This is the centre point of our religion, the direction we face towards five times a day, the image most of us have whilst praying. I broke down straight away.

I found myself starring at the beauty of the Ka’ba, tears rolling down my cheeks, hands raised asking Allah to forgive me. I had not planned what I would ask for when I was standing in front of the Ka’ba, I left that all to my heart. I stood there asking for forgiveness, apologising for my sin. I knew what my sister in-laws father was talking about. I promised I would not repeat any sins anymore. Many people say that when u first see the Ka’ba, make dua and it will come true. Now there is no Hadiths mentioning this but a dua is a dua. Being a Muslim is believing Allah will grant you your dua if not in this dunyah then in the ahkirah, unless it is sinful.tumblr_nzbe1iYMPr1ug61y2o1_500

 

 

Getting to Masjid al-Haram for Umrah

Our group had decided to go to Makkah for their Umrah after Isha, we couldn’t wait that long, we were eager to go see the Ka’ba. So me, Hubby and another couple from our home town decided to go after Asr. They became our Hajj buddies though out the journey, we were very lucky to have them on this journey with us. Brother M had been for Hajj 2 years ago and had done Umrah many times so we were in safe hands. We got a taxi to the mosque and got there an hour before Magrib.

We were walking up to the mosque and had gone round a corner, right in front of us stood the crane that had fallen down a week before. Surrounded by green barriers it stood out like a sore thumb. I remember us all just standing staring at it for a little while, reality hit. No matter where you are, even somewhere as holy as Masjid al-Haram, death will find you. But, oh what a place to die in the state of ihram. May Allah grant all those that lost their lives Jannath UL-Firdose.

Most entrances to the mosque had been closed, they kept saying the haram was full and made people stay outside. We managed to get into the new bit and found a place to pray right in front of the entrance which would lead to the Mataf area.

Before Magrib the guards had closed the entrance and told us it would be open after prayers. Once we finished praying, we patiently waiting in front of the entrance for the guards to move the barriers. We then get told they won’t open it till after Isha and that we should go find another entrance. This is common in Saudi, the guards will tell you one thing and then change their mind. More and more people started gathering to try and get in, people were arguing with the guards, other guards were even telling them to open it, but they wouldn’t. We were right in front of the barriers and looking back at the amount of people we had behind us, I knew if people start pushing we would be the first to go down. Of course once they started moving the barriers people decided to push, we would have fallen down if Brother M hadn’t shouted out “SAB’R SAB’R”. Even in the holy mosque people forget the etiquettes of being a Muslim brother and sister. We had managed to get through and I had thought the hardest part was over and done with, boy was I wrong.

I don’t want to sound like a cliché

2016, I don’t want to sound like a cliché, but this year will be my year, this year will be better. In Shaa Allah (God Willing)

The past few years have been amazing, to sum it up the highlight of 2014 was getting married and starting the next chapter of my life. The highlight of 2015 would have to be completing my Hajj, the journey of a life time.

With each highlight I can think of many low points that I have been through throughout the year.

Being married isn’t all sunshine and roses, the honeymoon period was well over after 6 months. But I’m glad to say after getting married to a complete stranger, I feel like we know and understand each other. It was hard at first I won’t lie, I look back to my honeymoon and as much as I loved it I felt a little on edge solely because I didn’t know him. I have fonder memories of our 2nd holiday together, by then I knew what made him laugh, when he was serious or angry.

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Wedding Day – 2014

 

For me the low of 2014 has been moving away from my family. I am only 5 mins drive from them but it’s still not the same as living with them. You live with them for many years and it’s almost expected for you to forget all that and make do with your new family. How can I not cry over my mum who fed me and looked after me, even on days when she was not feeling so well herself? How can I not feel sad when I don’t see my sisters who I’ve bought up and looked after? How can I not run home when my dad needs me to look through some paperwork for him, he did the same for me and much more?

They say the first year of marriage is the hardest, I found the second year to be even harder! I was frustrated in not have my own space, not being able to do things on my time table. The house hunt was slow and not going anywhere.

But what pushed all the negatives of 2015 away was my journey to Hajj with Hubby. Everyone feels differently on their journey. I have wanted to go for a while and it had become Fard (Compulsory) for me before I got married. But I had a dream to go on this journey with my husband and I do not regret it. I think the journey strengthened our relationship, made it more special. Our journey to Allah made our journey to each other easier. We often talk about our time there, how we expected things and how they really where, our favourite part of the journey and our lease favourite.

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Trying to be creative whilst capturing the beauty of the Ka’ba

 

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Praying at Prophet Muhammad S.A.W mosque

 

We recently spoke after a big argument, yes marriage means arguments whether you like it or not. Hubby had realised he was in the wrong and had lost his temper too quickly. We then started speaking about how we were when we were in Saudi, the promises we made to Allah when we first set our eyes on the Ka’ba. We spoke about how we both feel like we have failed and how we have recently started questioning if our Hajj was valid, this is one of the worst things you can do. It just goes to show how the devils whispers can cause you to doubt yourself.

2016 has started and I am determined to stay positive. I will strive to do the best I can to achieve my goals, the rest is in the hands of Allah. I know my prayers will be answered, I won’t stop praying till I achieve what I want, till I get what I need. I will never lose hope in Allah and I know Allah will never lose hope in me.

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Never give up on Allah

Lone Wolf

I’ve come across an Islamic statement recently that has touched my heart. I’ve probably seen it before but didn’t pay much attention to it. I guess that’s what happens when you can’t really relate to the situation.

Hasan al-Basri, may God have mercy upon him, was asked:

“Why do you appear unconcerned with what people say about you?”

He said, “When I was born I was born alone, when I shall die I will die alone, when I am placed in my grave I will be alone, and when I am taken to account before God I shall be alone. If I then enter the Fire it will be alone and if I enter Paradise it will be alone. So what business do I have with people?”

Recently I have been trying to change myself, to better myself for my Lord. It’s surprising that in this day and age we have people who look down at those who are practicing. It’s not said but its felt, and I feel like that has a stronger effect.

It may just be in my culture but I find that we are expected to look a certain way, to act a certain way, to please certain people. You hear “what will people say, what will they think”

I am not cruel or rude to anyone, but yet I am expected to please them in other ways. What does it matter if I am not dressed like a Christmas tree all the time and if I don’t have make-up on all the time?

I remember a short while after I got married during Ramadan, we were going to an iftar party. I was told to wear make-up because someone was going to be there. Don’t get me wrong, I like getting dressed up for special occasions, but not during Ramadan. I was fuming, I have never felt like this before and because I was a new bride I felt like I had to hold back my thoughts. I couldn’t understand why I had to please this someone?

As I look back, I say to myself, who are they for me to please them? How will their opinion benefit me?

We should look past what others think and say about us and focus more on what Allah thinks about us.

I always ask myself “If I die tonight, can I look at my Lord and justify my actions”

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Helpless

I don’t know what to do, what to say.

I feel so helpless.

I think of the innocent children, whose lives have barely begun.

I think of the parents, like all parents, they just want to protect their children, keep them safe.

I think of the elderly, who have seen their homeland crumble to pieces right in front of their eyes.

I think if it was to happen to us would the world sit back and watch?

What if we were in their shoes, what would we do?

What do I say?

What do I do?

Because crying is all I am doing right now

 

Pray For Syria

Pray for Palestine

Pray for Peace

Pray for Humanity

Pray for THE WORLD

 

Makeup

I started wearing proper makeup when I first started working years ago. In the beginning it was a small amount of blusher and eyeliner. Eyeliner was my best friend since high school. I remember one morning waking up late, rushing to school with nothing on my face. The amount of people who though I was ill! It’s amazing what a small black line under your eyes can do for you.

My skin started to get worse after I started working. I have always suffered with spots but this was different. I felt horrible my confidence was so low the only solution was foundation.

I can’t even think of the amount of different foundations I went through. I found my skin kept changing so the foundation I was using was just wrong for me.

I remember my first real foundation, not the cheap collection 2000 ones our mums buy on our trips to the chemist.

It was L’Oréal’s mineral powder foundation. The first time I used it my skin was clear and everyone kept complementing me. Once the spots started coming it just wouldn’t sit right it made me look cakey.

I wouldn’t step out of the house without makeup, my sister once told me maybe you need to let your skin breath, give the foundation a miss. I snapped, “You don’t understand what it feels like to have bad skin”

I wasn’t the best Muslima at the time, I would miss my prayer during work hours and come home and catch up on them.

It’s after I got married that I started to realise what I was doing was wrong. There were many empty rooms in my office and my colleague were more than happy for me to pray. It took a while for me to register that my makeup wasn’t helping me either. But that was harder than me taking a 5 min break to pray.

I was so conscious about my spots and marks I couldn’t bear the thought of wearing no makeup. I made up so many excuses in my head to try and justify it. It was until I came back from Hajj that I actually stopped wearing it to work. I had spent 3 amazing weeks on a journey of a life time and not once thought about wearing makeup. I stood in front of the Ka’ba for my Lord, I stood as he created me, no make-up or fancy wear. Why modify something that has been created by the best.

I woke up on the first day back to work tired from the journey but more depressed because I was missing Saudi so much. I looked at Hubby and said “I’m not going to wear any make up today” Hubby kind of shrugged his shoulders and said “OK”

That day went by quick, everyone was asking how my journey was and I was re-telling stories over and over again. But no one seemed to question why I had stopped wearing makeup, what a relief! It was always playing in the back of my mind throughout the day. Every time I would go to the toilet I would shock myself when I looked in the mirror, I just wasn’t used to it. My work colleagues just assumed I was really tired from the journey and some of it was true.

I had managed to get through the day and I felt so happy. I came home looked at Hubby and said

“I don’t know what I was so worried about, If Allah can accept me like this why can’t everyone else?”

P.s Don’t get me wrong I haven’t given up wearing make all together. My guilty pleasure is watching make up videos and reading reviews.  I still like to doll myself up for special occasions, but I do wudu before I paint my face

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My small collection of makeup. I now look forward to special occasions so I can put a bit of slap on ;P

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